| THE YEAR IN REVIEW
Some of the Stories We Followed in 2000 |
 |
THE YEAR'S
TOP STORY:
GLOBAL WARMING
HAS POP STARS WEARING
LESS CLOTHING |
|
|
CAN'T STOP SMILING
Steve Forbes had to drop out
of the presidential race when it
was learned that he had facial
paralysis and would need surgery
to, in his doctor's words,
"wipe that smile off his
face." |
 |
|
COLOSSEUM
RE-OPENS
The
newly restored Colosseum
in Rome re-opened, with
familiar results: 14
Christians mauled, 8
eaten. |
 |
|
 THE SYDNEY
OLYMPICS
The
Summer Olympics added
several exciting new events,
including Australia's
national sport, the Three-legged
race |
|
 NEW OPERATORS
Control
of the New York Stock
Exchange was turned
over to the Mohawk
Indians. No change at the
NASDAQ, which is still
being run by the Pequot
Nation. |
|
|
LOSING
ONE'S EGGHEAD
The world was shocked and
dismayed when Einstein's
head fell out of a research
van and rolled around in front of
startled onlookers. |
 |
|
STAND-UP
GUY
Former Senator and
Presidential candidate
Bob Dole became the
poster boy for Viagra, a
spokesman for erectile
dysfunction, and a leader
in the campaign to
straighten the Tower
of Pisa. |
 |
|
|
 SHE
STOOPS
TO CONQUER
Still traumatized from the
sexual harassment by
then-Governor Bill Clinton, Paula
Jones turned to religion,
doing a picture spread (Bible
Babes Bare All) for a
Christian publication. |
 CLOSE
CALL FOR PLANET EARTH
In July, a small earth-like asteroid
crashed into Boca Raton harbor, just missing several
boats. |
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