Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO - JANUARY 22 - 28, 2001
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SCIENCE
FUTURISTS FEAR RACE OF SUPERMODELS
But concede it's better than race of fat slobs.
Light Stopped in JPL Lab
Researchers credit breakthrough to "rolling blackout."
 
BUSINESS NEWS
Mob-Owned Businesses
Have Good Week
Stocks rise 46% on "rosy" projected earnings.
AOL/Time-Warner Eyes
Microsoft, Disney, GE
Merger could create black hole, scientists warn.
Yoo-Hoo to Purchase Yahoo
Yogi Berra foresees few changes at popular Internet site.
 
QUOTE OF THE WEEK 
“Ask not what you can do for your country, ask what your father can do for you.”
                - President George W. Bush
BOOKS
E-Books Will Soon
Appear in Paper
Publishers hoping public will buy same book that was converted from paper to digital form and then printed out on paper again.
 
SPACE
HAWKING PREDICTS SPACE COLONIZATION IS NEAR
Renowned physicist predicts select group of renowned physicists would breed with attractive members of opposite sex on "love planet."
 
MISCELLANEOUS
10 NEATEST INVENTIONS OF
THE 20
TH CENTURY

(compiled by the Smithsonian Institution
and Skateboarders Weekly)
1.   Computer chips.
2.   Pringles nacho-flavored chips.
3.   Cortisone.
4.   Tie: Wheelies, Knee pads
5.   Composite materials
6.   Composite materials in skateboards
7.   The microwave
8.   Microwavable burritos.
9.   Atomic power.
10.   Atomic Cola.

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