| SPORTS |
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LADY GODIVA ENTERS
KENTUCKY DERBY
First naked female jockey to
"Run for the Roses." |
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| ENTERTAINMENT |
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Entire Planet to Be Redesigned
as Theme Park
Earthland to open in 2010, yearly
passes, group rates available. |
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| LAW |
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Sleeping Defense Lawyer No
Impediment to Fair Trial in
Murder Case
As long as judge,
D.A., jury also sleeping. |
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| ALSO IN THE NEWS . . . |
Bush Press Briefing Disrupted
by Abe Lincoln
Former President disoriented,
incoherent. |
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| SCIENCE |
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Latest Warning: Global
Temperature Could Rise
10.5 Degrees in Next Century
Good time, then, to shape up and drop
a few pounds, say scientists. |
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Pluto No Longer Considered a
Planet
Move could affect tax status of former
residents of Pluto. |
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New Theory: Apes More Advanced
Than Humans
Recent statements by Charlton Heston
offered as evidence. |
| |
 REMINDER
If you're under
five years old, don't
look under the bed. |
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| HIGH TECH |
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Microsoft Taken Over by
Hackers
No major changes planned. |
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| CORRECTION |
| |
In last week's edition a photograph
of Mad Magazine's trademark character,
Alfred E.Neuman, was misidentified as
President George W. Bush. We apologize
for any confusion this may have caused. |
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