Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO - FEBRUARY 19 - 25, 2001
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CRIME
Roving Gangs of Cupids Latest Urban Threat
Law enforcement officials say they have “no answer—yet.”
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Ku Klux Klan Purchases Fox
News Channel
No changes planned.
"These Old Broads" Gets First 0.0 Rating in Desirable Demographic
TV movie watched by “virtually no males, 18-49,” according to A.C. Nielsen.
"Hannibal" Success Changing Hollywood
Studio execs, once reticent, now openly
eating each other for lunch.
Eminem and Elton John to Sing
Together at Grammys

They'll follow dance team of David Duke and Barney Frank.
 
SPORTS
XFL Looking into "Inappropriate"
Fan Behavior
Will add more cameras to cover it.
PEOPLE
Rehnquist, Scalia, Thomas, Kennedy,
O'Connor to Strip at GOP Fund-Raiser

Dance routine will be tasteful, they promise.
 
SCIENCE
SPECIAL FEATURE:
Nanotechnology and the Promise of Microscopic Machines
(magnified 10,000 times)
 
ELECTRIC CAN OPENER THE SIZE OF A CESIUM ATOM
Scientists at MIT built this atomic-sized appliance to demonstrate the possibilities of nanotechnology. Next: a tuna salad sandwich that can fit inside a muon.
 
SPACE
NASA LANDS SMALL PROBE ON LARGE POTATO
Contemplating manned trip to marshmallow.
U.S. Spacecraft Hits Eros, Proving Dangerous Orbits Can Be Changed
Asteroid now headed for earth.

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