Ironic Times

page one
PAGE TWO - APRIL 9 - 15, 2001
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PEOPLE
Another Celebrity Forgets to Dress for Fundraiser
Britney Spears had clothes ready to go, but never put them on in pre-event rush.
BUSINESS NEWS
U.S. Shifting From High Tech
Economy to Opinion Economy

Having opinions will soon pass all other types of employment.
All Customer Complaints at U.S. Firms Now Being Handled by Subcontractors In Bangalore, India
Workers, paid two cents a day, determine if your blow dryer is still under warranty.
Credit Card Companies Weighing Alternatives to Bankruptcy for Debtors
Some may accept pound of flesh.
 
SPORTS
Many Records Set in First XFL Season
In fact, all records set in first season.
Man Swims Across
The Pacific
Accomplishes feat in three years, ten months, five days, one hour and twenty-two minutes.
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Researcher Discovers Secret
Of Dreams While Sleeping

But can't remember it in the morning.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
 
(The following card was received this week by 1500 Employees of the American Greeting Card Company)
 
HIGH TECH
New Wireless Device Tracks
Time Accurately

Wraps around wrist; shockproof, waterproof.
 
EDUCATION
MIT Offers All Courses
For Free on Web

Program offers no degrees, but grads will get pocket protectors, ugly shirts.

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