Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO - APRIL 30 - MAY 6, 2001
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PEOPLE
PAMELA ANDERSON REFERENCES, PHOTOS STILL DRAWING EYEBALLS TO INTERNET SITES
Shameless exploitation continues.
 
SHOW BUSINESS
Showbiz Strikes Will Hurt Many
Caterers, chauffeurs, nannies, personal trainers, plastic surgeons, astrologers, psychics, psychoanalysts will all suffer.
R-Rated DVD of "Nutty Professor" Has Studios in Feeding Frenzy
Due out shortly: X-Rated "Mary Poppins."
Disney Spending $5 Million on Hawaiian Premiere of "Pearl Harbor"
4,000 "non-essential" employees laid off to pay for star-studded gala.
 
THE ARTS
WHITE HOUSE ARTS AWARDS ANNOUNCED
President will hand out honors next month.
SCIENCE
Major Breakthrough:
Announcement Soon

“We've almost got everything all figured out,” says one physicist.
 
MEDICINE
5.7 Million U.S. Cosmetic
Surgeries in 2000

But only 3 million not counting Joan Rivers, Michael Jackson, Cher.
 
TECHNOLOGY
 
NASA INTRO-
DUCES NEW PLANE
Craft capable of taking off, landing on time.
ENVIRONMENT
Norton Extends Protection in National Parks to Some on Endangered List
Protects snowmobiles, swamp buggies, jet skis.
 
CORRECTION
Last week, in a story about the incident between an American spy plane and a Chinese military fighter jet, we inadvertently included comments that a few of our readers construed as racist. The phrase, "trigger-happy capitalist pigs" should not have appeared in the final version of the article.

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