Ironic Times

page one
PAGE THREE - APRIL 30 - MAY 6, 2001
page two

SPORTS
Rain Delays Twins Game
Postponed for 40 days and 40 nights.
Newest Heavyweight Champ
Knocks Self Out

Wins, loses title; demands, agrees to rematch.
Fantasy Baseball Leagues Pass
Real Ones in Popularity

“We're thrilled,” says imaginary spokesperson.
XFL Ends Season On “Up” Note
No one killed.
 
RELIGION
Rap Officially Declared "The Devil's Music"
Replaces rock and roll, which replaced boogie-woogie, jazz, Dixieland, ragtime.
COKE-PEPSI COMPARISON
It's the real thing
Christina Aguilera
Russia
C.I.A
Army, Air Force
B-52's, Minuteman, Titan missiles
Fructose (derived from corn syrup)
The joy of cola
Britney Spears
China
N.S.A.
Navy, Marines
F-18's, Trident, Cruise missiles
Fructose (derived from corn syrup).
 
LIFESTYLE
Mental Capacity of Parents Fluctuates Over Time, Say Children
Study shows decline, recovery.

FRONT PAGE
PAGE TWO
ARCHIVE
CONTACT
 Copyright 2001 Ironic Times