Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO - MAY 7 - 13, 2001
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ENTERTAINMENT
CBS News, Cartoon Network in Talks
But some cartoon characters balking at move.
Critics See Sadomasochism in “Weakest Link” Game Show
Sadomasochists see critics in chains and harnesses.
34th Annual Audience Awards
Bring Few Surprises

Dayton, Ohio's Cineplex 12 grabs “Best Local Movie Audience, Male” trophy, a minor upset.
 
SPORTS
XFL, Citing Huge Losses,
Joins NASCAR

Games will take place on infield during races.
 
RELIGION
Image of Woody Allen Appears
In Sistine Chapel

Experts call it a “confusing” sign from God.
 
ART
“Two Men With Mops” Sold
Price is $5.1 million, the most ever paid for humans.
SCIENCE
LOCH NESS MONSTER CAPTURED
Unfortunately, it's immediately cooked and eaten.
New Findings: Dolphins Can Recognize Themselves in a Mirror
But most humans can’t, and won’t
Latest Evidence: Universe is Flat
“Told you so,” says Flat Earth Society.
 
TRENDS
  English Language Rapidly Shrinking
“Reprehensible,” say some, “Whatever,” say others
 
QUOTE OF THE WEEK
“Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.”
- - Laura Bush     

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