Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO - MAY 28 - JUNE 3, 2001
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ENTERTAINMENT
DYLAN: NO LONGER ENIGMATIC
Change announced on 60th birthday.
Networks Announce Fall Schedules
Once again, new shows are all "fresh," "original," and “groundbreaking."
New Sitcom is Based on
Polygamist's Family

Working title is “Twenty-Five is Enough.”
Footage of “Star Wars Episode II”
Leaks Out on Internet

Lucas worried number of laser fights will be revealed.
 
ENVIRONMENT
ALASKAN POLAR BEARS TURNING GRAY
Blame anxiety over oil drilling.
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Placebo Effect Questioned by Study
Group getting placebos did no better than group getting placebos.
 
SPACE
PIZZA HUT OPENS IN ORBIT
Joins Baskin-Robbins, Starbucks, Taco Bell on space station.
 
LAW
Ashcroft Won't Delay
McVeigh Execution

In fact, he says, “I can't wait.”
Supreme Court Revisits
Internet Porn Issue

Justice Thomas will review mountain of evidence, “however long it takes.”
Jenna Bush Sentenced to Community Service for Underage Drinking
Will help cancer patients obtain medical marijuana.

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