Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO - JUNE 11 - 17, 2001
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RELIGION
Sainthood Accidentally Conferred on Dennis Rodman
Reversing it “won't be easy,” Vatican says.
ENTERTAINMENT
Broadway: “The Producers” Closes
Mel Brooks jailed for fraudulently selling 25,000% interest in show.
Sony Admits Inventing Phony
Movie Reviewer

"What's really embarrassing," says studio flak, "he regularly panned our films."
 
 
 THIS WEEK'S TOP RATED SHOWS:
  1. When Blondes Attack (Fox)
  2. Execution of the Week (PBS)
  3. Don't Do This, You Idiot (MTV)
  4. Who Wants to Be a Mindless Consumer? (ABC)
  5. Die, You Pathetic Loser! (CBS)
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Most Drivers With “How Am I Driving?” Bumper Stickers Don't Want to Know
98% prefer you don't call 800 number.
SCIENCE
Bush: Flying Saucers May
Be Time Machines

“No way to tell.”
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Nevada Passes Medical
Marijuana Law

But sets odds that Supreme Court will strike it down at 30 to 1.
 
BUSINESS
Tax Cut Benefit to Top 1%
Could Spur Spending

Bye-bye Lexus, hello Lamborghini.
Krispy Kreme in 2-For-1 Stock Split
Move follows recent deaths of half the stockholders from arteriosclerosis.
Next Round of Layoffs Will Be Unrelated To Business Cycle, Say Experts
Firings will be driven by grudges, greed.
 
PEOPLE
NEPAL HAS NEW LEADER
“Just lucky, I guess,” says King Gyanendra after Crown Prince kills everyone in royal family except him.

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