Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE - JULY 2 - 8, 2001
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PEOPLE
Carmen Electra Fine, Resting Comfortably
Actress hasn't been seriously injured in many years.
SPORTS
Capriati Descent Hits Rock Bottom
Once-successful party girl and promising marijuana dealer now spends virtually all her time on a tennis court.
Yankees Purchase Pedro
Martinez's Right Arm for
$3 Million

Operation to graft it to rookie pitcher's body scheduled for next week.
Rocker Traded to Indians
Only minority he hasn't offended.
 
PICTURE OF THE WEEK
Extraterrestrials Strut Their Stuff on Fifth Avenue
Just one of many celebrants at annual Aliens and Extraterrestrials Day Parade.
THE AFTERLIFE
by Earl Wilson
Took the BW to see Frank Sinatra at the Limbo Room. No Sinatra show up here is complete without a "surprise" (har-har) visit from fellow dead rat-packers Dean Martin and Sammy Davis, Jr. Dean says he's off the embalming fluid, but not according to Peter Lawford, in town to greet relative newcomer Screamin' Jay Hawkins, who was assigned to his sector. Hawkins, by the way, had to change his act a little. Now he sings from the coffin, but walks on stage. The late but still sprightly George Balanchine is helping Hawkins with his choreography.
Despite several inquiries, Olivia de Havilland is not dead. According to the authorities, she won't kick the bucket for another 2,103 days. Who's asking? Clark Gable, that's who.
That's Oyl, brother.

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