Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE - JULY 23 - 29, 2001
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SCIENCE
  Some Eyebrows Raised at Bio-Technology Conference
Mushrooms the size of lampposts
sprouting all over Tokyo.
Archeologists Find Signs of
Agriculture in 11,000 BC

Hieroglyphic shows Babylonian Farm
Bureau paid locals not to plant crops.
 
PEOPLE
O.J. Simpson Admits Killing Wife
Hopes confession will “jump-start” career.
 
SPORTS
BOXER KNOCKED OUT, BUT NOT DOWN
Follower of Maharishi, still unconscious, continues levitating following knockout.
PAID ADVERTISEMENT
Our Turn
by Larry Flynt & William Bennett

There will always be juicy sex scandals and serious political issues. The challenge is: how to link them together? We have never learned as much about the Constitution as we did during the Monica Lewinsky/impeachment scandal. But what have we learned from the Gary Condit/Chandra Levy affair? Nothing! That is why we have founded the National Sex & Serious Issues Clearing House, an organization dedicated to linking hard-to-follow policy debates with easy-to-look-at naked people. If you have an issue deserving media attention, we'll match it with a lurid sex scandal lacking redeeming social value. Together, we can make need-to-know synonymous with want-to-know. (We are entirely supported by Commentary and Hustler Magazine.)

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 Copyright 2001 Ironic Times