Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO - JULY 30 - AUGUST 5, 2001
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POLITICS
Katherine Harris Considering Running for Congress
Would have to give up post as Wicked Witch of the South.
ENTERTAINMENT
NBC Buys CBS, ABC Buys NBC
Fox buys ABC.
Hollywood Celebrates Annual
“Upside-Down Day”

For twenty-four hours, movie stars stalk former mental patients and harass them outside their homes.
 
BUSINESS
Old Economy Stages Comeback
Most employable in July: town criers,
blacksmiths.
 
RELIGION
Poll: How We Describe God Reveals Subtle Shift in Beliefs
Bearded white man has been replaced by a more upbeat, optimistic deity.
SCIENCE
Mysterious Fireball, Sonic Boom in Northeast Explained
Caused by small rocket containing baby “with powers far beyond those of mortal men.”
 
ENVIRONMENT
Whaling Conference Ends With Agreement
Whalers will let whale watchers watch them harpoon, skin whales.
 
HIGH TECH
British Park Bench to Be
Wired for the Web

Wooded retreat now offers online gambling, free porn.
 
CORRECTION
Recently we referred to “Sequoia National Park,” the former name of what is now known as “Sequoia National Smog Refuge and Carbon Monoxide Sanctuary.” We regret any confusion this may have caused.

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