Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO - OCTOBER 1 - 7, 2001
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GOOD NEWS FOR BUSH
His Halloween mask is outselling the bin Laden mask.
 
BUSINESS
American Flag Companies
Reap Huge Profits

Chinese manufacturers can't keep up with orders.
Disney, Shares Down 40%, Prepares for Hostile Takeover
Eisner, Goofy, Jiminy Cricket apply for concealed weapons permits.
Interest Rates Headed for
Negative Numbers

Investors will have to pay banks to hold their money.
Massive Layoffs Saving
Corporations Billions

CEO's reward themselves with large bonuses.
 
SCIENCE
Whale Intelligence Upgraded Following Discovery of How They Evolved
Species is only one to emerge from sea, check out land, return to sea.
Study: Mice Fed Lean
Diet Live Longer

So do humans fed lean mice.
 
THE WAR
Terrorist Assets to be Frozen
Justice Department now scrutinizing: Jihad Against America Savings & Loan,
Fanatics Mutual Insurance, Great Satan Investments.
Girding for War, Taliban Will Cut Back on Civil Liberties in Afghanistan
If they can find any.
FBI: No Hidden Code in Web Pix
Agents say they've found no embedded messages from terrorists, but search continues.

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 Copyright 2001 Ironic Times