Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO - OCTOBER 15 - 21, 2001
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THE FIGHT FOR FREEDOM
Profiles of Our Allies: Saudi Arabia 
Type of Government: Absolute monarchy
Leader: King Fahd ibn Abdel Aziz al-Saud
Date Elected: N/A
Opposition Political Parties: N/A
Rights of Accused: N/A
Genders Permitted to Drive: 1 (male)
Favorite Spectator Sport: Public beheadings
# 1 Op-Ed Subject: "Why I love King Fahd"
# 2 Op-Ed Subject: N/A
 
BUSINESS
Toys 'R Us Sues Anthrax 'R Us
Says biowarfare company infringes on copyright.
Americans Simplifying Lives, Not Purchasing Frivolous Luxury Items
Retailers call trend a “recipe for disaster.”
Hosiery Industry Doing Its Part
Unused material will go to war effort.
SCIENCE
Snail Brain Cells, Silicon Chip Combined to Create Electronic Circuit
Result is extremely slow computer.
New Airport Scanning Devices See Right Through Clothes
Recruiting people to operate them has been “remarkably easy.”
Anne Robinson Wins Nobel Prize in Physics
Helps create Bose-Einstein condensate by reducing room temperature to almost absolute zero.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Falwell: God Cancelled Emmy Awards
Upset over choice of Ellen DeGeneres to host.
Due to Recent Events, CBS's “Survivor” Changes Name
Will now be known as “Shameless Jerks Fighting Over Money.”
 
CORRECTION
In our story on last week's Fall Paris Collection, the women in this photo were misidentified as supermodels Elle Macpherson, right, and Claudia Schiffer, left. Ms Schiffer is, in fact, on the right and Ms Macpherson on the left.

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