Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO - NOVEMBER 5 - 11, 2001
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THE WAR
Congress Shown Cluster Bomb and Food Packet
Or is it food packet and cluster bomb?.
New Tactics in Military Campaign Revealed
Rob Schneider, Wayne Newton will be sent behind enemy lines to entertain Taliban.
 
ENVIRONMENT
Whitman: EPA Will Enforce Clinton Arsenic Standards
But strychnine, hemlock standards may be relaxed.
 
BUSINESS
Playboy Lays Off 43% of Work Force
Hef down to just four girlfriends.
ENTERTAINMENT
Emmys Finally Given Out in
Subdued, Dignified Ceremony

Show had “just the right amount of ego-inflated, self-serving blather,” says producer.
Geraldo Leaves CNBC for Fox
Hopes to raise level of journalism there.
MTV Lays Off 9 Percent
of Work Force

“Just the musicians,” explains a spokesman.
 
KIDZ' KORNER
How Kids Can Help Fight Terrorism
1) Start waving an American flag. Is there somebody not waving one? Put names in secret notebook.
2) Recite the Pledge of Allegiance. Note if somebody doesn't join in. Add the name to secret notebook.
3) Sing "God Bless America." See who's not singing along. Don't forget their names!
4) Did Mommy say we should stop the bombing? Did Daddy say bad things about the sanctions on Iraq? Write all of this down in your notebook.
5) Turn the notebook over to authorities.

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