Ironic Times

NO. 61 "Expect the Ironic" NOVEMBER 12 - 18, 2001

Nov 5
Nov 19
“ENDURING FREEDOM” TRADING CARDS GO ON SALE
Each pack contains two good guys, one bad guy, and bubble gum.
 
WORLD NEWS
U.S. Wants Northern Alliance
Out of Kabul

Will provide Taliban with necessary military aid.
“Turn in Your Nukes”
Campaign Begins

Citizens offered up to $500 per bomb, depending on yield.
 
BUSINESS
Heinz Lowers Forecast
Product taking an excruciatingly long time to reach consumers.
U. S. NEWS
Analysts Agree: Economy
“Probably” in Recession

Worse than last month's view that it was “most likely” in recession.
FBI Profile: Anthrax Letter-Writer Angry, Solitary Man
Narrows possible number of suspects to 113,847,052.
Democrats, in Control of
Senate, Win Close Vote

Measure sends Republican senators on fact-finding mission to Afghanistan
 
REMINDER
    You're only as old as other people
    think you are.
 
Defense Attorneys Object to Government Plan to Listen in
On Their Phone Calls

“We've heard these complaints before,” say prosecutors, “in fact we have them on tape.”
F-18's Pound Al Qaeda Training
Sites in Florida, Arizona

Collateral damage kept to a minimium.
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 Copyright 2001 Ironic Times