Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE - DECEMBER 3 - 9, 2001
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SPORTS
Nude Olympics Begin
Speed skater Nils Nadienko warms up before his qualifying race.
NFL Playoff Picture: Teams with
Fewest Injuries, Arrests Favored

Doctors, lawyers being added to coaching staffs.
 
HEALTH
Bad News: “Light” Cigarettes No Healthier Than Regular Cigarettes
Good news: regulars no worse than lights.
Survey: Americans Make
Love More Often

But U.S. finishes 12th when sex with a partner is included.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Dropout Barbie This Year's Hot Toy
Has tattoos and attitude, likes to get crazy, party.
MAN ON THE STREET
This Week's Question:
Do You Feel Safe?

Karl Rove, Presidential Adviser: Yes, I feel safe. Who are you with?

Colin Powell, Secretary of State: Of course. Say, do you have clearance to be here?
Tom Ridge, Head of Homeland Security: Yes, I do. But you might want to check your ID.

Condoleezza Rice, National Security Adviser: I'm not sure at the moment.

Dick Cheney, Vice President: Who is this person? Guards!

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 Copyright 2001 Ironic Times