Ironic Times

NO. 66 "Expect the Ironic" DECEMBER 17 - 23, 2001

Dec 10
Dec 24
 
SHEIK OMAR, DISGUISED AS SANTA, ESCAPES FROM JAIL
He's caught a few hours later, at Macy's.
WORLD NEWS
Bin Laden's Last Defenders
Offering Stiff Resistance

Three wives, ten lookalikes proving tough to dislodge from Tora Bora.
Bush Decides to Scrap '72
ABM Treaty

U.S. now free to develop costly missile shield (which occasionally works against one missile fired in good weather in the daytime with advance warning).
Geraldo Rivera Survives Sniper
Attack In Afghanistan

“He can run, but he can't hide,” says a CNN sharpshooter.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
LAPD “Patrol Officer West” Action Figure Goes on Sale
Comes with guns, fake incriminating evidence, Mentally Ill Homeless Woman Target Figure.
U. S. NEWS
Bush Says He Welcomes Congressional Oversight
Congressional leaders agree to overlook everything.
Survey: Public Optimistic Heading
Into New Year

When asked, “Do you think you'll see 2002?” most respond positively.
J.C. Watts to Run Again Despite Term Limits Pledge Made in '94
Explains promise was made before he, uh, had more time to, uh, study the issue.
 
REMINDER
   Western civilization is on the wane.
 
Study: Nation Has Been in
Recession Since March

In depression since May, in quarantine since September, in police state since October.
 
ENVIRONMENT
Yellowstone National Highway Completed
Little-noticed eight-lane project approved, built, by Interior Department on September 12th.
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