Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE - DECEMBER 24 - 30, 2001
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TRAVEL
Liberty Island Re-Opens to Visitors
Those looking suspicious will be detained and questioned in statue's torch.
Disneyland Installing Ultrasound Scanners
Will more accurately detect how much cash is in Dad's wallet.
 
SPORTS
Cleveland Browns to Limit Sales of Beer to Escaped Convicts
No sales after halftime.
 
MODERN LIVING
Segway Transporter
Gyroscope System
Anticipates Direction
Users Want to Go

Unfortunately, most people don't know where they want to go.

Christmas customs vary from country to country - here are some fascinating examples...
In Russia, you get coal in your stocking if you've been good.
In Australia, children leave Santa a bottle of beer and a bowl of pretzels.
In Switzerland, Santa travels around the country by train and fixes people's watches.
In China, Santa is ignored, but reindeer is considered a great delicacy.
In France, Santa Claus has a mistress, works late and leaves the task of buying, wrapping and sending presents to the stoic Mrs. Claus.
In Egypt, Santa Claus is 4,000 years old, has the head of a crocodile and eats children who have been bad.
In Greece, Saint Nick is known as Uncle Nick, arrives a few days before Christmas, doesn't have any presents, and sleeps on the couch for a week.
 

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 Copyright 2001 Ironic Times