Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO - JANUARY 7 - 13, 2002
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MISCELLANEOUS
New Flag Law Goes Into Effect
Minimum of three flags must be displayed at all times.
 
SCIENCE
NASA: Time Travel
Feasible in 3 Years

Information verified by visitor from 2005.
Cloned Sheep Dolly Has Arthritis
"Oh, my aching baaaaaaaaaaack," she says.
New Mars Orbiter Detects Water
Spacecraft also detects signs of waves, surf, babes.
 
PEOPLE
Released Taliban Prisoners Win $100 Million Lottery
"Allah be praised," says one.
BUSINESS
Survey: Women Surge Ahead of
Men in Web Shopping

Orders for breast enhancement creams surpass those for penile enlargement.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE

Study: Placebos Work as Well as Medication in Treating Depression
Implications cause depression in pharmaceutical industry.

American Youth Most Active, Vigorous
According to study based on Gatorade commercials.
 
CORRECTION
Last week we reported that Osama bin Laden had been captured, put on trial before a secret military tribunal, tortured, then executed. While we do not know that this did not happen, it cannot be independently confirmed. Maybe it happened, maybe not.

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