Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE - JANUARY 14 - 20, 2002
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EDUCATION
Bush, Kennedy Revamp American Education
Top grade is now a "B", failing grade a "G".
SPORTS
NBC Disqualifies 24 Olympic
Hopefuls

Personal tragedies deemed insufficiently compelling.
 
TRAVEL
Islamic Extremists Open Amusement
Park in Pakistan

Hoping to "put the fun back" in fundamentalism.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS
New Findings: Humans Intelligent in 77,000 B.C.
But not since.
GUEST COLUMN
by Kenneth Lay
CEO, Enron
Ordinary folks are always coming up to me on the street and asking, "Ken, how'd you do it? How'd you walk away from the rubble with $150 million?" If I had a nickel for every time I've been asked, I'd have another $150 mil!
Hate to disappoint, but there's no big secret, just market timing. Here's how: first, I pretended Enron had $600 million in profits that we didn't have (ha, ha!) to drive the stock up to $90 a share. Then I sold. Bingo! If my 20,000 employees had been as smart as me, they'd have sold like I did, before I froze their 401(k)'s so they couldn't. But the stock is still worth 26 cents a share, so it's not like they have nothing.
My advice? Know when to sell! (And have a few friends in high places when you need 'em!)

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