Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO - FEBRUARY 4 - 10, 2002
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ENTERTAINMENT
"South Park" Honored
Named top show by the National Academy of Farts and Sciences.
Noted Publicist Says 2002 Will Usher in Era of Innovation in Movies, TV
Also, Brooklyn Bridge will sell on eBay.
 
BUSINESS
Enron Collapse Hurt Many in
Houston, But Not All

Huge jump in 4th-quarter earnings reported by local firm, Shredco.
Bush Promises Enron Workers Access To Professional Investment Advice
Should take care of whatever they have
left, he adds.
 
ODDS AND ENDS
Administration Has Proof to Back Claim of 100,000 Terrorists at Large
Bush spokesman (right) offers list of Al Qaeda operatives.
SCIENCE
Scientists Train Monkey to Move
Computer Cursor With Thoughts Alone

Hope to train monkey to do this while watching TV, eating pretzels.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE

Moderate Drinking May Prevent
Dementia, Say Dutch Scientists

But they quarrel, come to blows over effects of heavy drinking.
 
CORRECTION
A recent article erroneously stated, "America's great sports stadiums, where rich and poor once shared the common bond of rooting together for the home team, are now just another place for the haves to flaunt their money in obscenely lavish luxury boxes while the have-nots squeeze into smaller and smaller spaces further and further away from the mercenaries below, struggling to injure each other for the amusement of the plutocrats." The correct usage is, "farther and farther away."

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