Ironic Times

 NO. 74 "Expect the Ironic" FEBRUARY 11 - 17, 2002 

Feb 4
Feb 18
FLYING SAUCERS ATTACK NATION'S CAPITAL
But story overshadowed by Enron hearings.
WORLD NEWS
Argentina Abandons Peso
Converts to frequent flyer miles.
Bush Invites Leaders of Lesser Nations to Join "Superpowers of Tomorrow" Club
They'll get to ride in a fighter jet and receive "Jr. TerrorStopper" badges.
Mimes Trapped at South Pole
No rescue planned.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS
Ashcroft Orders Cover-Up at Justice Department
"The Spirit of Justice" (rear) must wear pasties.
U. S. NEWS
Cheney Going to Middle
East Next Month

Hopes multi-nation trip will keep him one step ahead of a subpoena.
White House Tells Public
Economy Looks Strong

But top officials secretly selling savings bonds, buying gold.
 
REMINDER
   Get up out of your chair every
   now and then.
 
Budget Cuts $300 Million From
Home Heating for Poor

Administration counting on global warming to balance things out.
Mormons Flee Salt Lake City During Olympic Games Madness
Many go to Rio for Carnival.
 
RELIGION
Accountants Descend From
Third to Eighth Circle of Hell

Approaching politicians, lawyers.
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