Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO - FEBRUARY 18 - 24, 2002
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PEOPLE
New Ear Hair
Champ Proud,
But Humble

Not interested in fame or money, says his agent.
BUSINESS
Wall Street Reacts to Revelations of Massive Corporate Fraud
Stocks up for the week.
Enron, Movie Studios in Talks
"Good fit" found between Houston hiding losses, Hollywood hiding profits.
Chrysler Recalls 1.6 Million Jeep Grand Cherokees for Rolling Backwards in Park
Company will replace Park and Reverse with one, dual-purpose gear, "Whatever."
Nike Debuts "Air Reid"
Basketball shoe provides "explosive first step."
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Researchers Grow Artificial
Womb Outside Body

Offers women the promise of more free time during pregnancy.
Growing Evidence Healthy Lifestyle Leads to Serious Health Problems
Doctors recommend eating fattier foods, exercising less, and smoking more.
 
Super Beauty Pageant Proposed
Ultimate contest pitting Miss America, Miss USA, Miss World, Miss Universe, Mrs. America, Miss Teenage America, Mrs. Teenage America, Miss Nude USA, Miss Nude Universe, Mrs. Nude Universe, and Miss Trans-Gender Nude Universe is being discussed.
 
HIGH TECH
54% of Americans Now on Internet
.01% using mature content filters.
Intel's Next Chip Will Be All-Powerful
Designed to replace God.

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