Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO - MARCH 4 - 10, 2002
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PEOPLE
More Trouble for Enron
Surprise witness contradicts previous testimony.
BUSINESS
Signs of Recovery: January
Home Sales Set Record

Thousands sell everything, flee country.
New York City to Sell Brooklyn Bridge
"We're just waiting for the right sucker to come along," says Mayor Bloomberg.
 
QUOTE OF THE WEEK
"I'm still the richest man in the world."
-- Bill Gates      
ENTERTAINMENT
Letterman May Replace
Koppel on ABC

But news coverage to continue with nightly "Top Ten Issues We Don't Care About."
More Awards Given Out
Winners pose for pictures at Academy of Tarts and Sciences ceremony.
SCIENCE
European Satellite Launched to
Prove Burning of Fossil Fuels
Causes Global Warming

Successfully achieves orbit despite U.S. attempts to shoot it down.
Study: 1950s Nuclear Fallout
Worse Than Thought

Atmospheric testing led to some of the worst movies ever made.
 
SPACE

NASA: Hubble Getting Major Adjustment
Space telescope is being turned 180 degrees; will be used to catch speeders.
 
ENVIRONMENT
EPA Official Quits Because
He Won't Weaken Rules

"Good riddance to bad rubbish," says an agency spokesman.
 
MILESTONES
Edward Moorhead III, 81, Last Surviving Woodstock Veteran
Attended historic three-day event; passing marks end of an era.

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