Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE - MARCH 11 - 17, 2002
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HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study Suggests Long-Term Marijuana Use Leads to Memory Impairment
Research started many years ago, though scientists not sure when.
Dark Chocolate, Red Wine, Sex Help Prevent Heart Disease
Milk chocolate, white wine, masturbation aren't bad either.
 
SPORTS
Baseball: Report From Spring Training
Pitchers ahead of hitters in terms of spitting, but hitters scratching themselves more.
New Internet Deal Offers Edited Baseball Games Reduced to
Their Essence

Fifteen-second broadcast will contain all the action, without the pauses; extra-inning games could go as long as twenty seconds.
Twins, Expos Favored to Meet in World Series
Only two teams not loaded down with high-priced prima donnas have "unfair advantage," say other owners.

Ever since the start of the military campaign in Afghanistan I have been saying that the biggest problem U.S. forces face is the porous border with Pakistan, particularly in Paktia Province, a forbidding mountainous region dominated by Pashtun and other tribes sympathetic to the Taliban. It is here that bin Laden and his core group of Al Qaeda loyalists are most likely holed up, and it is here that I believe we should have concentrated our firepower from the very beginning.

Next week, I’ll discuss my steamy affair with Bill Clinton.
 
TRENDS
All in U.S. Will Soon Have Spokespersons
They will speak on behalf of clients only to other spokespersons, says spokeswoman.

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