Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE - APRIL 22 - 28, 2002
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PEOPLE
 
FDA Approves Botox for Use on Alan Greenspan
Important for economy that
he not look so worried.
 
SPORTS
Kenyan Runners Dominate
Boston Marathon

Finish first, second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, tenth; American finishes ninth, but he just moved here from Kenya.
Manager Fired, Hired, Fired
Hired, fired, hired, fired.
 
PRESS
 
  The New York Sun Hits the Newsstands
Publisher hopes to provide a balanced alternative to Rupert Murdoch's left-wing New York Post.
SPECIAL FEATURE
 
??? ~ News Quiz ~ ???
A military coup d'etat supported by business interests in Venezuela briefly overthrew the democratically elected government, supported by the nation's poor. During the crisis, the United States staunchly supported:

A) The democratically elected government supported by the poor.
B) An interim, caretaker regime composed of a panel of judges from the planet Zorcan under the direction of Gandolf the Wise.
C) The military coup supported by business interests.

  Answer next week
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
3500-Mile-Long Super Colony of Giant Ants Discovered in Europe
Authorities tell residents "not to panic, seek higher ground."

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