Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE - MAY 6 - 12, 2002 
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MILESTONES
Bjork Expecting
Baby should hatch any day now.
INTERNET
Uncensored Internet Access in Libraries Under Attack
Many fear children will download Huckleberry Finn.
 
SPORTS
French Skating Judge Banned From Sport for Three Years
But she expects big payday refereeing upcoming Tyson-Lewis fight.
Baseball Owners Accidentally
Lock Out Players

Maintenance crews called, keys located, ballparks reopened.
Home Runs Down 19% in
Major Leagues

New balls, made from shredded team financial records, may be the reason.


If this fuckin' Middle East crisis goes on any longer I'm going to go out of my fuckin' mind! Why can't they simply settle the fuckin' thing and get on with their fuckin' lives, instead of all this bloody fuckin' killing and bloody fuckin' bloodshed. It's fuckin' crazy, I tell you!

And could somebody please tell me how to program the fuckin' VCR!
 
NEW PRODUCTS
Disposable Phone Could Revolutionize Communications
Instead of simply hanging up on someone, now you can throw them out.

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