Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO - MAY 27 - JUNE 2, 2002
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PEOPLE
Lara Croft Sues Penthouse Magazine
Claims nude photos were not of her, but Dr. Aki Ross
ENTERTAINMENT
New Threats to American Families
Revealed During Sweeps Month

Crusading local TV reporters discover dangerous criminals, toxic chemicals, infectious diseases in your neighborhood.
Hollywood Struggles to Combat "Runaway" Production
Studios rush construction of sets that look like Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton.
O'Reilly Radio Talk Show Offers
Alternative to Limbaugh

Will attack liberal media at a different time and station.
 
BUSINESS
Execs Now Make 458 Times More Than Employees
But much of it goes for psychotherapy to cope with the guilt.
Treasury Secretary O'Neill, U2's Bono Tour Africa Together
Coincides with trip by Labor Secretary Elaine Chao and the Sex Pistols.
INTERNET
House Approves New Child-Friendly Web Domains
Kids can now feel safe going to sites at ".dull," ".yawn," and ".yecch."
 
SCIENCE
Report: Chimps Used Simple
Tools 5 Million Years Ago

Were able to chop, slice, dice food, and fished using small, folding rod and reel.
 
HIGH TECH
Latest Dime Will Have Implanted Computer Chip
First coin in U.S. Mint's roll-out of "smart" currency.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Bad News: Uninsured Patients
25% More Likely to Die Than
Insured Patients

Good news: 25% fewer uninsured patients.
 
CORRECTION
Last week we stated that "the government of Iraq used deadly nerve gas on its own people in the nineteen-sixties." That should have read, "the government of the United States used deadly nerve gas on its own people in the nineteen-sixties." We apologize for any confusion this may have caused.

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