Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO - JUNE 3 - 9, 2002 
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PEOPLE
Pratyush Buddiga, 13, Wins National Spelling Bee
Takes home trophy after successfully spelling his own name.
ENTERTAINMENT
Anna Nicole Smith
Gets Her Own Show

Each week she'll seduce, marry, bury another billionaire.
NBC Hoping for Hit With New
Reality Series "Dog Eat Dog"

Based on top-rated South Korean show, "Man Eat Dog."
 
BUSINESS
Satan Settles Lawsuits for Evil Acts
Prince of Darkness will pay undisclosed sum to victims, admit no wrongdoing.
Arafat Cheese Snacks Go on Sale
Frito Bandito comes out of retirement to promote them.
SCIENCE
Creative Geniuses, Manic-Depressives Have Similar Personalities, Says Study
Manic-depressives celebrate, then lament findings.
Death Rate 2% Higher at
For-Profit Hospitals

But so are the profits.
 
HIGH TECH

First Robot
Pests Showing
Up in Labs

Exterminators are baffled.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Study: 67% Falsify Academic Record
Head of study admits lying, resigns.
 
TRAVEL
Travel Warning Issued for India, Pakistan, Indonesia, Middle East, South America, Africa, and Europe
State Department says only Russia and China are safe to visit at this time.

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