Ironic Times

page one
PAGE TWO - JULY 8 - 14, 2002
page three

 
WHERE ARE THEY NOW?
 
Imelda Marcos
The former First Lady of the Philippines is now a hostess/entertainer at the Holiday Inn in Rusteria, Ohio. Her most requested song? "People either want to hear 'These Boots Were Made for Walkin' or 'Blue Suede Shoes.'"
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Fewer Media Outlets a Good
Thing, Says Murdoch

No one disagrees with him.
 
BUSINESS
Latest IBM Storage Medium
Holds More Information Than
Currently Exists

New books, movies, music must be created immediately, say researchers.
Lemonade Sales Rise With Global Warming
But allegations of off-the-book accounting practices could bring industry down.
SCIENCE
Hubble Photographs Cassiopeia Supernova
Climbed fence to get picture; supernova threatens lawsuit.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Free Prozac Sent to Floridians Who Did Not Ask or Have Rx for It
Fortunately, drug relieved anxiety caused by surprise mailing.
New Killer Bacterium Targets
Thin White Women

All other women feigning concern.
 
Which of the following international agreements has the United States NOT abrogated or refused to sign:
International Criminal Court Treaty, Kyoto Global Warming Treaty, Comprehensive Nuclear Test Ban Treaty, Anti-Ballistic Missile Treaty, Biological and Chemical Weapons Treaty, Land Mine Treaty, Small Arms Treaty, Rice Krispies Treaties.
Hint: agreement does not limit the deployment of marshmallows.

FRONT PAGE
PAGE TWO
PAGE THREE
ARCHIVE
CONTACT
STORE
   Copyright 2002 Ironic Times