Ironic Times

 NO. 102 "Expect the Ironic" AUG 26 - SEPT 1, 2002 

Aug 19
Sept 2
 
BUSH "CAN'T ATTEND" EARTH SUMMIT
Has "more important matters" to attend to.
WORLD NEWS
U.S. Networks Pay for Al Qaeda Tapes
Claim money only goes to fund for terrorists' widows and orphans.
Saddam Hussein Overthrown
By Look-Alike

No changes expected.
 
BUSINESS
Airlines Say They'll Stop
Questioning Passengers

Will rely instead on new "Non-Terrorists Only" departure gates.
Women's Wages Catching
Up to Men's

Not actually rising; just not falling as fast.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS
Bush Gives Simon Big Boost in California
Promises to pardon him.
U. S. NEWS
Secret Court Says Unnamed FBI Agents Lied to Covert Commission
Nobody knows who's telling what to whom, says anonymous source, speaking off the record.
Georgia's Second Largest School District May Offer Creationism
As Alternate View

Will also present theory that earth is being carried on the back of a giant turtle.
President Outlines His "Common Sense" Policy on Forest Fires
If there are no trees, there can be no forest fires, he explains.
 
KIDZ' KORNER
Help Dick Cheney get from his bunker to a meeting with his lawyers at the White House while avoiding the Washington Post, the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, and CNN!
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