Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – OCTOBER 7 - 13, 2002
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PEOPLE
Noelle Bush Arrested Again
This time it's for the hair.
ENTERTAINMENT
CBS Sues ABC over Celebrity "Survivor"
Claims they stole idea first.
TV: "Friends" Returns a
Ratings Winner

Show dominates key 29-29 demographic.
 
BUSINESS
Changes Planned for 401Ks
Look for 301Ks, 201Ks in near future.
Clogoleum Goes Out of Business
Drain clogger never caught on with consumers.
 
MILESTONES
World's Oldest Person, Japanese Woman is 115
Kamato Hongo prefers referring to herself as "115 years young."
CULTURE
Museum of Sex Opens in New York
Adjacent to Museum of Drugs, Museum of Rock and Roll.
 
LANGUAGE
"Booty," "Hottie," "Noogie" Added to Webster’s Dictionary
"Caboose," "va-va-voom," and "Chinese Haircut" are dropped.
 
TECHNOLOGY

"What is Microsoft doing in my bedroom?" You wouldn't believe how many times we're asked this question. Luckily, there's a good answer: "Helping you." By gathering as much information as we can about you, from your software problems to your sexual practices, Microsoft Corp. is getting to know you better, and the better we know you, the better we can serve your needs! Worried about privacy? Nothing in your customer profile ever goes outside our in-house chat rooms and employee lounges. So sleep soundly, and do whatever you want in your bedroom we're on your side!

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