Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – DECEMBER 2 - 8, 2002
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MISCELLANEOUS
Man Accumulates 1 Million Free Hours of AOL
After that, it's $23.95 per month.
 
SPORTS
MLB Says More Cuban
Players on the Way

They've been delayed by rough currents off Florida.
Video Games Added to Next Olympics
IOC will begin to slowly phase out events requiring physical exertion.
 
HEALTH
Latest: Starvation Diet Extends Life
Great news for the starving.
 
ODDS 'N ENDS
5000-Year-Old Fruitcake Found in Egypt Still Good
As fresh as when King Tut tried to get rid of it.
President Bush picked Henry Kissinger to "uncover every detail" of the 9-11 terrorist attacks and expose them to the light of full, public disclosure due to his involvement in:
A) the secret bombing of Cambodia.
B) the secret military coup in Chile.
C) the secret undermining of the 1968 Paris peace talks.
D) the secret encouragement of Argentina's "dirty war."
E) the secret approval of Indonesia's invasion of East Timor.
F) the secret wiretapping of his own staff.
G) all of the above.

A plutocracy is:
A) Rule by animated cartoon characters.
B) Government by most distant planet.
C) What happens when Democrats don't bother to vote.

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