Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – JANUARY 20 - 26, 2003
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BUSINESS
New Dodge Motorcycle Goes 400 MPH
A more powerful turbo model is expected next year.
Fear of Shortage of Prison Space for Corporate Criminals Proves Unfounded
Not a single one has gone to jail.
 
REMINDER
   Somewhere in the world your exact
   double is using your credit card.
 
SPORTS
Spring Training: Lawyers
And Agents Report

Pitchers and catchers report next week.
Tennis: Upsets Aplenty in Early Rounds of Australian Open
Among the early losers: Jennifer Capriati, Monica Seles, and Anna Kournikova (pictured).
MISCELLANEOUS
   
    Mattress Sales Surge
They are now preferred to stocks, bonds.
 
To provide relief from skyrocketing medical malpractice insurance premiums, the Bush Administration proposes to:
A) Investigate insurance companies to determine if they are overcharging.
B) Improve medical training to reduce the number and severity of medical mistakes.
C) Increase oversight so that incompetent doctors may not practice medicine.
D) Make sure victims don't get what a jury of their peers says is fair compensation.

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