Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – JAN. 27 - FEB. 2, 2003
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PUBLISHING
National Geographic Publishes First Swimsuit Issue
Next month: “The Girls of the Watusi.”
SPORTS
Super Bowl: Commercials Frequently Interrupted by Football
Network flooded with angry phone calls.
Rose Will Admit to Having
Played Baseball

Should clear way for his election to Hall of Fame.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Awards Shows Crowding Out Other
Types of Entertainment

Busy celebrities no longer have time to appear in actual movies, TV series.
Paris and Nicky Hilton Arrive at Inherited Wealth Awards
They present Lifetime Achievement award to David Rockefeller.
THE WAR
Current List of Countries Supporting U.S. Military Action in Iraq:
    Great Britain
    Kuwait
    Djibouti
    North Pole
    Confederate States of America
    Brigadoon
    Atlantis
    Erewhon
    Utopia
    Freedonia
    Sylvania
    Klopstokia
    Oz
    Neverland
    Land of Nod
(Information courtesy U.S. State Department, Bulfinch's Mythology.)
 
WHERE ARE THEY NOW?
Osama bin Laden
(nickname: "Stretch")
Famously tall terrorist
leader with many wives
is now employed as a greeter at the Golden Nugget Casino in Las Vegas, Nevada, though he still gives interviews occasionally.

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