Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – MARCH 10 - 16, 2003
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PEOPLE
President's Official Portrait Unveiled
Many think it captures his independent spirit.
Madonna Writes Series of
Children’s Books

The first, Spank the Bunny, comes out in the Fall.
 
WHERE ARE THEY NOW
His Holiness Rael
The former Claude Vorilhon, who says he flew on a flying saucer, and who led his we're-all-descended-from-extraterrestrials cult into the headlines a few months back with claims of cloning a human baby, is now General Manager of Passaic Lincoln-Mercury, in Passaic, New Jersey.
 
BUSINESS
State Farm Adds Exclusion for Damages Due to Nuclear Attack to Auto Insurance
But if you're rear-ended during ensuing panic, you may still file a claim.
 
ENVIRONMENT
Bison to be Removed From Yellowstone
Pose hazard to snowmobilers.
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Robot Doctor Gets Patients' Thumbs Up
Most find it "warmer, more caring" than their regular physician.
Some Chronic Liars Quite "Normal" According to Yale Study
Authors base conclusions on "extensive
research" and "a lot of experiments."
 
SOFTWARE REVIEW
Democracy 8.0
A major upgrade to the long-established American operating system, Democracy 8.0 adds exciting new features, including: Automatic Detention Without Trial (replaces Courts), Permanent Emergency Powers for Attorney General (replaces Constitution), and Instant War/Peace Power for President (replaces Congress). Free download for registered users of Democracy 7.0.
 
HIGH TECH
GM Testing
Hydrogen-
Powered Vehicles

They run cleanly and economically, but one fender-bender and that's it for life as we know it.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS...
Thirteen More Countries Break Nuclear
Non-Proliferation Treaty

While no one was looking.

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