Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – MARCH 17 - 23, 2003
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PEOPLE
  Madonna Releases First
Exercise Video

"Kinky Kalisthenics" is Kegels for contortionists.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
"Chicago" Wins Another Award
Wins coveted Most Awards award, awarded to award-winner awarded most awards.
China Orders Rolling Stones to
Drop Some Songs From Tour

Censorship considered almost as oppressive as The Ed Sullivan Show.
 
BUSINESS
Investors Flee Stocks, Bonds
But show renewed interest in pyramid schemes, chain letters.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Women's Lib Mixed Bag For Albanian Women
More respect, less free time.
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Univ. of Pennsylvania Study: Male Perspiration Makes Women Happier
Antiperspirant industry group argues test results unique to Pennsylvania.
Supersizing Threatens Public Health, Warn Doctors
Urge Americans to eat one less giant cookie each week.
 
SCIENCE
Latest Theory: Universe a Doughnut
Krispy Kreme stock rises again.
 
Census: Extraterrestrials Fastest-Growing Minority Group
But they complain they're being undercounted.
 
EDUCATION
UC Berkeley Grad School of Business
Rejects Some Who Lied on Application

"They don't need us," says Dean, "they already get it."

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