Ironic Times

 NO. 132 "Expect the Ironic" MARCH 24 - 30, 2003 

Mar 17
Mar 31
 
DEMOCRACY COMES TO IRAQ
Town meeting in Tikrit (right) shows Iraqis already embracing our values.
WORLD NEWS
Elite Squad Being Sent to Hunt
Down, Kill Hussein
Same elite squad sent to hunt down, kill bin Laden.
Bush Warns Iraqis: Don't
Destroy Oil Fields

Or the nicer hotels in Baghdad.
OPEC Pledges to Protect
Oil Supplies, Prices

Will also offer free Prince Bandar bobblehead dolls with every fill-up.
 
PICTURE OF THE WEEK
  U.S. Image Overseas Takes a Beating
We're no longer seen as lovable clowns dispensing hamburgers.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS ...
U.S. Invades Iran, Libya, Syria
Also Somalia, North Korea, Venezuela.
U. S. NEWS
Poll: 98% Now Convinced Saddam Behind 9/11 Attacks
Up from 1% several months ago.
FBI Begins “Knock and Talk” Operations
Agents knock suspects on head with club until they talk.
Missing Early Copy of
Bill of Rights Found

Discovered in dumpster behind John Ashcroft's home.
 
REMINDER
Those who do not remember the past are condemned to something or other.
 
Iraqi Diplomats Targeted in Crackdown
Several given parking tickets in Manhattan for the first time ever.
Consumer Confidence Hits
10-Year Low

But growth expected in hunting-and-gathering sector.
 
LAW
Free Speech Award Given to
Antonin Scalia, Who Bans Broadcast Media from Covering Event

Apparently thought "free speech" meant speech that didn't cost anything.
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