Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – APRIL 7 - 13, 2003
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PICTURE OF THE WEEK
First Sperm Race Features Photo Finish
And exciting pre-race activities as well.
BUSINESS
SUV Sales Off in March
But dealers hope for boost when Abrams tanks, Bradley Fighting Vehicles hit showrooms.
 
HEALTH /MEDICINE
Study: Men Less Likely to
Seek Help for Depression,
More Likely to Kill Selves

Won't even ask for directions to Dr. Kevorkian's office.
SCIENCE
Human Sense of Smell Deteriorated Over Course of Evolution
Helps explain popularity of current prime time TV line-up.
Eating Okra, Eggplant and
Metamucil Can Extend Life

Those who stick to diet live for what seems like forever.
 
ODDS AND ENDS
Pulitzer Prize in Poetry
Awarded to Mass E-Mailer

Poet Klez Worm wins for the following:
  “A New Game”
  This is a nice game.
  This game is my first work.
  You're the first player.
  I wish you would enjoy it.
SPECIAL FEATURE: YOUR TAXES
    Taxpayer Comparison Chart: You vs Sprint Execs Bill Esrey & Ron Lemay
      YOU   SPRINT EXECS
  Income   Ha ha   $288 mil stock option profits
  Accountant   No   Yes
  Lawyer   No   Yes
  Tax Shelter   No   Yes
  Letter from Lawyer Saying It's Legal   No   Yes
  Pay Taxes   Yes   No

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