Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – APRIL 28 - MAY 4, 2003
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PEOPLE
Kim Jong Il Climbs Mt. Everest
First North Korean leader to do so.
SPORTS
Ten-Year-Old Phenom Declares Himself Eligible for NBA Draft
Goes against family's wishes that he finish grammar school.
Baseball Announces Crackdown on Banned Substances
Will start random testing of fans.
Baseball: Entire Tampa Bay Payroll Less Than Derek Jeter’s Salary
But Yankee players often tip Devil Ray players handsomely as they round the bases.
 
MILESTONES
Last Madonna Wannabe Retires
Says she's doing a lot better than her idol.
LIFE AFTER SADDAM
Brutal Regime Is History
Iraqis once again free to beat themselves.
American Entrepreneurs Buy
Garden of Eden

Site, located where Tigris and Euphrates meet, will be turned into a nudist resort.
Progress Continues in 3rd Week of Freedom
Government can no longer restrict right to keep and bear a Kalashnikov.
 
HIGH TECH
New Technology Changes
Garbage to Oil

Critics warn it could cause a severe garbage shortage.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS ...
India, Pakistan Destroy Each Other With Nuclear Weapons
One-and-a-half billion killed.

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