Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – MAY 26 - JUNE 1, 2003
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PEOPLE
Dirty Old Men Honor J. Lo at Annual Ceremony
She's given “Best Caboose” award.
ENTERTAINMENT
Networks Move Away From Reality
Move toward news.
 
BUSINESS
Bayer Sold Riskier Version of Drug Overseas, Safer Version Here
“Better lawyers” in U.S., explains company spokesperson.
McDonald's Must Pay $10 Million
For Serving Fries Containing Slight Trace of Beef

Must also pay $50 million for serving hamburgers containing slight trace of beef.
Congress: Hearings Look Into
Spam on Internet

Senators want to know if penile, breast enhancement products really work.
Rupert Murdoch Testifies on Capitol Hill
Tells of his plans for Congress after he buys it.
SCIENCE
Working With Sub-Atomic Particles, Scientists Closer to Building Powerful Quantum Computer
Or blowing us all to smithereens.
Chimps Should be Part of Human Family Tree, Says Anthropologist
With 99.4% of our DNA matching, “there is virtually no difference between us,” says Dr. Ivan Sloane (above), who chaired controversial study.
 
Texas has passed a law requiring doctors to inform women that abortion might lead to breast cancer, despite the fact that scientists at the American Cancer Society and the National Cancer Institute say there is no medical evidence of it. Texans can best deal with this contradictory information by:
A) waiting for better science to come along.
B) putting their hands over their ears and screaming.
C)moving to Oklahoma.

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