Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – JUNE 23 - 29, 2003
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HIGH TECH
Segway Approved for Use Nationwide
By Democrats.
Super Clear 36-inch TV Costs $11,000
Picture said to be superior to life itself.
New Car Warns of Impending Crash
Futuristic Honda Inspire detects danger, helpfully screams, "We're all gonna die!"
 
PUBLISHING
Hillary Clinton Memoir Soars to
Top of Best-Seller List

Everyone wants to read her account of the moment she learned her health plan was doomed.
 
PICTURE OF THE WEEK
  Aliens Destroy Golden Gate Bridge
Take wine-tasting tour of Sonoma, then leave.
One surefire superhit this summer is going to be Saving Private Lynch, the true story of a brave American soldier and how she singlehandedly toppled the regime of the evil dictator Saddam Hussein. Hilary Duff and Frankie Muniz star, with Jeffrey Tambor as you-know-who.
For fans of light comedy there's The In-Laws, a remake of last month's The In-Laws, which was a remake of 1979's The In-Laws. This latest version brings back everybody in the cast except Michael Douglas.
One to avoid, even if your air conditioning's on the blink, is the quirky novelty Madam I'm Adam, a movie that's one long palindrome, and one long movie (especially if they lock the exits like they did where I saw it).
And finally, kids will enjoy the first animated version of The Sorrow and the Pity, the profoundly moving documentary about German occupation of France during World War II. All in all, a sizzling celluloid summer ahead!

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