Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – JUNE 30 - JULY 6, 2003
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PEOPLE
President Names Dennis Miller Official Court Jester
Narcissistic name-dropping pseudo-intellectual comic says he's “thrilled to occupy a position normally given to one of those B-list comedians who do Fruit-of-the-Loom commercials.”
 
THE ECONOMY
Report: Wealthiest Americans'
Share of Income Increased
Greatly in Last 10 Years

According to the Duh Institute.
 
SCIENCE
Study: Marijuana Doesn't Cause Permanent Brain Damage
“It has none of the deleterious effects associated with alcohol or narcotics,” says lead researcher Dr. Erik Hammerschlag (pictured).
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: Men Also Have
Biological Clocks

But they're clock-radios, with snooze alarms.
Consumer Reports: Caffeine
Hidden in Many Foods

Butthere'sreallynothingatalltoworry abouttheysay.
 
ENVIRONMENT

Two-Headed Turtles Taken off
Endangered Species List

Thanks to government, industry actions, population has increased dramatically.
 
Study Shows Huge Difference
Between Individuals in
Tolerance for Pain

Based on tests of those with medical insurance, and those without.
Unfair Bosses Make Blood
Pressure Soar, Says Research

Studied: twenty-five current and former employees of the New York Yankees.

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