Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – JULY 7 - 13, 2003
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PEOPLE
Pope Reportedly Has "The Blahs"
Might take up ballroom dancing.
Nader Considers Another
Presidential Run

But worries about losing votes to a Democratic "spoiler" candidate.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Scientists Find Depression Genes
Could lead to treatment some day, they say, but probably won't, so what's the use?
Kraft Foods Promises Healthier Products
New line includes All-Natural Velveeta, Whole Wheat Mallomars, Free Range Oreos, and Soy-Ahoy.
Obesity Linked to Suburban Sprawl; Experts Advise Redesigned Suburbs
It would also help if you'd get off your ass
once in a while.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Webster's Dictionary Adds, Drops Words
Adds headbanger, dot-commer, McJob, Frankenfood; drops music, employee, job, corn.
SCIENCE
Latest Mars Mission to
Search for Water

And weapons of mass destruction.
Solar System Like Ours Discovered Only 95 Light Years Away
Raises intriguing possibility that some day we could use it for spare parts.
 
Study: Playmates
Change With
Economy

When economy's doing well, they're soft and vulnerable; when it isn't, they're stronger, more independent, as with current Miss July (pictured).
 
ENVIRONMENT
Latest EPA Report Censored
Again by White House

Agency forced to remove section asserting that the earth orbits the sun.
 
CORRECTION
Last week, obituaries describing Katharine Hepburn as "a rubber-faced Borscht Belt tummler from the Catskills" and Buddy Hackett as "an aristocratic beauty with a Bryn Mawr accent" were somehow transposed. We apologize for any confusion.

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