Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – JULY 7 - 13, 2003
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ODDS AND ENDS
World's Largest Sandal Found
It was under the world's largest bed.
TRAVEL
Tough Times for Baghdad
Tourist Bureau

"But it's usually slow this time of year," says a spokeman.
 
SPORTS
Baseball: Another Major
League Record Set

First nine-inning game in which no major league records were set.
New York's Guggenheim Museum to Host '04 Olympic Cycling Trials
Will be closed to art patrons for two weeks.
 
 
LOTTERY RESULTS
      You didn't win.
NEW PRODUCTS
A Jacket That Makes
Your Work Easier!

A real computer's built into this snappy white jacket, allowing you to surf the web or check your e-mail while you're waiting on tables or dispensing ice cream from a truck. One caveat: it must be dry-cleaned at the factory. ($995 at most uniform supply outlets.)
Great Gift Idea For That "Glaucoma Sufferer" You Know
Five-foot-tall bong makes the perfect present for all your friends who use "medical" marijuana. And, at just $49.95, you might want to pick one up for yourself. At all Harry's Head Shops.
Dental Hygiene Device That Builds Muscles, Too!
No wires, no on-off switch, no streams of pulsing water, here's a novel tooth-cleaning tool you can use anywhere, and it also doubles as a portable exercise machine, developing oft-neglected muscles in the wrist and forearm. Ask your local apothecary for the new non-electric "toothbrush." ($0.99 at most 99 Cents Only stores.)

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