Ironic Times

page one
PAGE THREE – AUGUST 18 - 24, 2003
page two

TOYS
Dolls Depicting Bush in Flight Suit Go on Sale
Part of new "Photo Op" series of action figures.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Study: “Friendlier” Workers
More Productive

And workers who “really put out” are most productive of all.
 
SPORTS
Baseball: A-Rod Hints Hed Like to Be Traded From Rangers
High cost of living in Texas straining his budget, say sources.
Survey: Ten Percent of British
Soccer Fans Would Rather Watch Game Than Have Sex

The rest would rather watch sex.
 
CONSUMER NEWS
FDA Approves Prank Wheelchair
Sudden, unexpected stunts should lift spirits of handicapped.
SPECIAL FEATURE
How the Power Grid Works
  1. Electricity, in thousands of megawatts, is generated at Regional Power Plants.
 
  2. Campaign contributions, in millions of dollars, are forwarded from energy company executives to lawmakers.
 
  3. Executives meet secretly with Dick Cheney, dictate plan to deregulate energy industry.
 
  4. Executives of deregulated market cut work force, skip maintenance, manipulate system they designed to rob state and county governments.
 
  5. Blackouts are delivered from local substations directly to consumers.
 
ODDS AND ENDS
Santa Orders Elves To Practice Safe Sex
Has condoms, educational literature distributed to all workshop employees.

FRONT PAGE
PAGE TWO
PAGE THREE
ARCHIVE
CONTACT
STORE
   Copyright 2003 Ironic Times