Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – SEPTEMBER 8 - 14, 2003
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MISCELLANEOUS
Appearance of Square Doughnuts Troubles Futurists
It's “too soon,” they say.
ARTS
New Scholarship Proves Five Shakespeare Plays Were Partially Written by Others
And three more were “as told to.”
 
EDUCATION
New Law Requires Texas School Kids
To Recite Pledge of Allegiance, Then
Pledge of Allegiance to Texas Flag

Then pledge of allegiance to county, then
city, then football team, then go home.
 
ODDS AND ENDS
Superman's Suit Sold at Auction for $110,000
Lex Luthor outbids Bizarro, Mr. Mxyztplk for indestructible garment.
Now that the EPA has gotten rid of the rules preventing owners from selling PCB-contaminated land to developers, plans can go forward for the first development under the new, relaxed standards, named:
A ) PCB Vista Gated Community
B ) El Rancho de la Cancer
C )Toxic Gardens Estates
D ) Casa PCB Affordable Housing Project
E ) Poison Brook Glen
Which of the following statements is false?
A ) Since the Recession officially ended, more than a million jobs have been lost.
B ) Since combat officially ended in Iraq, more American lives have been lost than before combat officially ended.
C )Since NASA officially began looking for potentially dangerous asteroids, more than a million extraterrestrials have landed in California, and are running for Governor.

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