Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – SEPTEMBER 22 - 28, 2003
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MISCELLANEOUS
Bridge to 21st Century Finally Opens
For now, it's only open to foot traffic.
TRAVEL
World's Largest Cruise Ship Planned
Royal Caribbean's luxury liner “Ultra Voyager” will accommodate 3,600 passengers with an unknown stomach virus.
 
SPORTS
Expert: Babe Ruth Curse a
"Total Myth"

Idea that Boston Red Sox can't win a championship because they traded away legendary slugger 83 years ago is “pure hogwash,” says Bill Buckner.
 
ART
Controversial Restoration of Michelangelo's “David” Continues
Cracks in face will be removed, nose will be straightened, and he'll get a chin tuck.
When Senator Rick Santorum (R-PA) said recently that "making people struggle a little bit is not necessarily the worst thing," he was referring to:
A ) Making the top 1% of Americans scrape by without the latest Bush tax cut.
B ) Making the administration explain where the extra $87 billion they want for Iraq is going to come from.
C ) Making top foreign policy advisors pass high school history tests about the countries they want us to invade before devising battle plans.
D ) Making welfare mothers take minimum wage jobs without providing child care for their young children.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS ...
Astronomers Receive First Intelligent
Signal From Space

Brief message contains “no surprises.”

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